Monday
Jan052009
Podcast: A Word of Caution
On this day, the first Monday after the new year, let's check in with each other. Are you off and running? What are you creating? I woke up feeling thankful for the focus of the project this morning, feeling like I have lots of room to write this morning because of all I'm Not Doing. I'm going to write poetry and stories, and try to contain my impatience until my new camera is delivered. I'm going to face what's really been stopping me, and I'm going to work my way through it. And don't worry--you will, too! You can subscribe to the Portfolio Project podcast here. To start at the beginning of the project, go here.
Monday, January 5, 2009 at 7:21AM | Share Article 8 Comments | Email Article Print Article | Permalink | in The Portfolio Project
Reader Comments (8)
I'm not sure - I'm REALLY not sure (but also am not going to analyze it) why, but the P.P. game has given me something like a permission to going back to writing off the cuff...
it's been freeing. I'm finding myself making friends (this is a recent goal..and the PP game seems to be making it happen effortlessly) with my inner rebel.
I have been in the place you describe in the podcast (AM actually in that place in another realm - in decluttering/organization stuff)..but RIGHT NOW I am not having the fears come up re-writing..and i am soo thankful.
when the inevitable happens, and i get bit by what you described I will remember this recording!!
I'm a genius at finding something else that MUST be done immediately as soon as I sit down to write. The portfolio project is helping me push through that moment, helping me just stay in the chair and write. I'm working on poems and a few prosey kind of things that might be essays.
It's soo true. I have a million ideas when I'm not doing PP stuff, (which I now force myself to go write down immediately), but when it's "Time To Work", crickets. Thanks for the reminder that we all face this.
Its so strange and wonderful to know that these feelings are NORMAL, and probably happening to all of us at the same time. I am feeling this huge need to declutter my house, streamline everything, and even with adding that work to my day, I am finding that really, I could just sit down and write...but there are other 'real' fears stopping me. Can I really write about "that"? Look deeply into "that place" in my heart and history? Just allow myself to be a writer, artist, photographer instead of thinking everything has to be all lined up in a row(inside and out)? Thanks for being the voice cheering us on.
Where am I? Stuck between process and product. Worrying my self and my project to death.
Confronting my perfectionism and feelings of unworthiness. Feeling like it will go nowhere, be nothing, be a waste.
"I Can't." pops up.
Feeling like a fraud. I can't reach the dream I'm seeking, that's for other people.
Now, I've been through all of this before, and I know it's part of the process. But it still sucks.
Good to look it in the eye. I don't know if I want to give it the power of my inspirations, though. I can too easily focus on the negative. I think I might look to my dreams for the inspiration and something to say. My big dreams, but something more personal and introspective than I've been trying to do, not that I'm "SERIOUS."
This "serious" crap has to take a walk.
Oh, Jen, this came at just the right time. I have really been wrestling with those "real" reasons for the past week. (BTW, I am doing a 2-part portfolio project - one part is to focus on my writing - my gift to myself - and the second is to gain some mastery of a new concept for my jewelry line).
I am amazed and also saddened by the negativity that surfaced for me as I started this project. That inner voice of mine is practically shouting at me - telling me that I'm not good enough. It feels better to finally hear it and argue back instead of just drowning it out with business.
Thank you for your insight and your encouragement. Your words are such a gift - your voice too!
I had those exact same moments you described over the weekend. I sat down to write, and was faced with a brick wall. So realized I had to first lay out all the stepping stones - the questions, the plans, the wild ideas. Something of a laundry list in my precious journal - the one that's "too good" to write in.
Sitting down and finding I have nothing to say is one of my absolute worst writing fears. Or finding I have no idea how to say something I want to say. It's terrifying. And I've gotten damn good at avoiding it. But that just leaves me feeling hollow and unfulfilled anyway. So enough with the avoidance! I will sit down to write and I will write. It's a game. An experiment. We'll just see what happens, shall we?